We're like a lot better than the average bears
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
