We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
