I love black thongs
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
