It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
