Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Randomize
