I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
either way he was missing a nipple.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
