So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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