Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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