I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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