The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
