1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
