just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
