he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
