no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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