someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
