No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Randomize
