He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
