I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
