i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Randomize
