i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
