you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Randomize