I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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