Can i not drive my cunt home
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Randomize
