Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Randomize