I'm gonna have a badass scar
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
