what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
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