Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
