i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
