Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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