No awkward lesbian experiences without me
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
