she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Randomize
