weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
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