man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
