It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
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