just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
last night I used snow as a chaser
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
