i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize