??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
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