My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
