I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
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