i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Randomize
