YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
