Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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