Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
