Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Let's paint friendship bongs
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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