my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Randomize