they need to just BURY HIM!
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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