If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Randomize
