Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
How external is "for external use only"?
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
