Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
