Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Randomize
