Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
