The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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