You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Randomize
