ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
