he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Randomize
