butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
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