just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Randomize
