i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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