We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
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