You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Randomize
