when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize