Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
