By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize
