saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Randomize
